A book that will forever mean Christmas
(Please note that this is a change to schedule. Number 3 was meant to be Bill Bryson but, well, it’s nearly Christmas and as much as I love Bill Bryson my thoughts turn towards the whimsical at this time of year. Bill will get my attention at a later date, when I’m not so preoccupied with sugar-plum fairies, dancing polar bears in Santa hats and eating Twiglets.)
If there is one thing that Nigella Lawson has taught me, in addition to how to lick a wooden spoon seductively* – purr, it is that Christmas traditions matter.
There’s the annual Bookish Brunette and husband row over fairy lights and how the artificial tree looks like a slightly tapered pipe cleaner. There’s the baking of seven squillion mince pies before realising that no one really likes mince meat. There’s the excitement of cracking the first walnut of the festive period followed by searing eye pain as tiny shards of shell attempt to penetrate my retina.
Then there is ‘The Jolly Christmas Postman’ by Janet and Allan Ahlberg.
I can quote this book word for word. I can recreate Janet Ahlberg’s amazing illustrations in my head. It is my ultimate reminder of the magic of Christmas. Once I’ve finished the last page, Father Christmas seems real again.
‘The Jolly Christmas Postman’ was published in 1991 as a follow-up to the hugely successful (and equally wonderful) ‘The Jolly Postman’. Both books take place in a world where fairytale characters live side by side; kind of like in Jasper Fforde books but without all the homicide. Our leading man is a bicycle riding Postman who is rather jolly.
He goes about his daily work of delivering correspondence to popular fairytale characters (totally want that job). In the first book he delivers, amongst other things; an apology from Goldilocks to the Three Bears, a postcard to the Giant from Jack (of Beanstalk fame who is using the profits of his newly acquired golden egg laying goose to fund a round the world trip) and a solicitor’s letter sent on behalf of Little Red Riding Hood to the Big Bad Wolf.
The letters are concealed within pages that double up as envelopes. In the Christmas book, there are more than just letters tucked inside. There is a beautiful ironic Humpty Dumpty jigsaw puzzle sent to the hospitalised egg as a get well soon present from All the King’s Horses and All the King’s Men. I also love the Christmas Annual sent to the Gingerbread Man by his father at the Pat O‘Cake Bakery. The highlight has to be the final gift: a peep show (no, not that sort you perv, this is a kid’s book) given to the Postman by Mr and Mrs Santa. I could stare at this for hours.
The festive peep show from the Jolly Christmas Postman
These books aren’t just about the hidden letters though. They are also cleverly written (favourite lines: “But all is well and all is merry; The Wolf’s just wolfing pies and sherry, And playing games in his cosy den, with the three little pigs and the little red hen. After all, it is Christmas.”) and stunningly illustrated.
The Ahlbergs aren’t just for Christmas – Allan wrote ‘Woof!’ for a start. They are also responsible for the baby book Peepo!, the Happy Families series, Each Peach Pear Plum, Funnybones and countless other children’s stories and poems.
They were a husband and wife duo – Allan did the writing and Janet did the drawing. Across their whole body of work, their words and pictures work in complete harmony.
My affection for the Ahlbergs stems mainly from being raised by parents who were teachers. Allan Ahlberg also used to be a teacher and he wrote about school life in two brilliant books of poetry “Please Mrs Butler” and “Heard it in the Playground”. Poems like ‘Dog in the Playground’ and ‘Please Mrs Butler’ perfectly evoke my memories of primary school. They also lifted the lid on what teachers thought about it all – their frustrations, annoyances and the startling fact that sometimes the teachers really didn’t like the idea of going to school!
I recently acquired a copy of Allan Ahlberg’s ‘Collected Poems’. At the end of the book, Allan offers his ‘After Words’ in which he talks of his time spent as a grave-digger in the Black Country (he was an orphan who was adopted and raised in Oldbury). He writes with great affection about Mr McGibbon who persuaded him ‘up and out of the hole in the ground’ and set him on the path to becoming a teacher and poet. It is an inspirational story, and one that I hope lots of little boys and girls read and decide to embark on their own fairytales.
Janet Ahlberg died in 1994 and I remember crying at the news. It felt as if I’d lost a friend. Allan is still writing and keeping his wife’s memory alive with help from the illustrator Charlotte Voake.
Janet and Allan Ahlberg inspired me to write and be silly. They also taught me the value of humour, warmth and affection in words. Writing doesn’t have to be controversial or viciously cutting to make people smile; a fair few contemporary columnists could benefit from that particular pearl of wisdom.
*and how to make an Earl Grey Marteani** and how to make pistachio macaroons and how to accessorise a simple low-cut sweater with jaunty colourful beads and how to pretend convincingly that I always drink 2 pints of soup out of thermos on public transport…
** loads of gin, chilled earl grey, lemon juice, sugar syrup. This drink was responsible for the Bookish Brunette Christmas of Shame in 2008. Think of that bit in ‘Breakfast at Tiffany’s’ when Mag Wildwood falls over at the party and Holly yells “TIMBER!”. Shame my Nan had to see that.
the jolly postman!! I used to love those books!!
i wanna read them now, i may have to borrow them soon!
lucy x
p.s. loving the variety of Christmas wrapping paper
You can borrow them on the proviso that you promise not to lose any of the letters!
I had to sneak a picture of my amazing gift wrapping skills on to here somehow
Jenxxx